I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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