Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
