Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
