He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
