FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
