holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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