If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
