would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
