Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
