On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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