Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
