omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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