I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
