Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
