His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
