Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize