their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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