we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize