Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
