I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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