Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
