I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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