My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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