she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
