I'd wear matching sweaters with you
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
