pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
