So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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