my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
