If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
