you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
