no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
