I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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