I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
