Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
