I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
