I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
