i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
did i just pee glitter
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
