Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
