apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
no you cant smoke seaweed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
