Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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