If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
