Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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