You smell like a Billy Joel song
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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