it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
