i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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