You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
