they need to just BURY HIM!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
