Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I forget how to act sober
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