Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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