And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
