im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
