nut hugger
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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