New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
