I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
