its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
