Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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