I need help removing her.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
