Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
