put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize