i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This gyro tastes like lonliness
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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