Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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