He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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