youre lurking in front of me
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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