i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
